Saturday, November 20, 2010

Why Adults do the Pee Pee Dance sometimes too....

...terminus ad quem?

One of the few things I miss about where we used to live was the proximity to work. We were 1/8 of a mile away and were able to sleep in until the very last minute and still make it to work if we wanted to.

Being miles away and close to half an hour ride from home has forced us to readjust to a number of things. Like making a list and planning a route to save gas, setting the second alarm, NOT hitting the snooze button, and remembering to make a pit-stop before leaving to or from work!


So it was on Thursday when I was working feverishly to whittle down the to-do list, and managing to get everything but the outdoor stuff that I should have done first, that I came to installing the new front door lock.

My mind was fried; the Tub and the many many trips to and from the Hardware Store for various parts had taken it's toll. Well, despite my male propensity to NOT READ THE INSTRUCTIONS unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY DAMNIT! I completed the final assembly around 9:30-10:00.

Then, in a moment of lucidity I took the old colored key cover that is supposed to remind you that that is the key you are looking for and placed it on the new key for my own benefit intending to make things easy for myself.


Fast forward to Friday afternoon now. I have been drinking coffee and soda all day to stay awake because as exhausted as I was when I went to bed I stayed up long into the night reading "The Steward of Christendom" by Sebastian Berry.

As I approached the house I realized that I had forgotten to take my own advice about making a pit-stop before leaving from work.

BAM! I whipped the car into the driveway, slammed the shift into park, grabbed all my garb and groceries, hopped out of the door flipping it closed with the back of my leg, blew through the porch door dropping everything on the floor and fumbled for my keys doing the Pee-Pee dance!!!

What!? Where's the key? What did I do with it? How could I have left it in the house! Maybe it's at work!? Why isn't Sarah home yet?!!! Oh Crap! Why do I do these things to myself!

Maybe I can get in through a window on the back porch! Sh*t! Open the door, run across the yard, stumble up the back steps, NOPE! The door is locked like it should be. Push up the window, getting it started with my car key, (BRILLIANT!) ...fall through the window cracking the the sill on the way in... Across the distance in a blink I realize I also remembered to put the hook & eye on AND lock the other two locks!

Pee-Pee dance is now Prancing with the **STARS** as I fly out the back door, down the steps and RUN FOR THE WOODS whipping my head back and forth to see if the neighbors are watching???

Twenty feet into the now bare and leafless woods I find a suitably large enough tree to hide me from at least three posable pairs of prying eyes and form icicles on a large oak tree that Deut frequents.

... Ahhhhhhh....


Strolling back to the house as nonchalantly as I can so as to appear to have a "meant to do that" air about me I pull out my keys one last time muttering to myself: "Whatever did I do with that key? If I didn't drop my phone in the woods maybe I can call Sarah and wait for her on the porch while I listen to the dog wine from the other side of the door..."

WHAT! Wait a minute! THAT'S NOT THE OLD KEY ON MY RING! It's the new one I put on with the old cover so I wouldn't sabotage myself!!!


Yup... Sometimes Adults do the the Pee-Pee Dance too.


Yeah, I just wrote this in the parking lot after work...

The mOOn is FULL...

Maybe I better make a pit-stop... Ya think???

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad.

Location: 5 Maple Road,Voorheesville,United States

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