I hang with Theologians and PHDs. I am secure in my identity and have enough self-esteem to take a joke. Even when its a mean spirited and derogatory put-down. I consider the source. I've been through a lot in my life and witnessed enough, observed enough, and had enough of human nature to know how the petty dynamics of unhappy people can become group-think.
Rumors and gossip hurt the perpetrators as much as the perpetrated. A jokes a joke until someone gets hurt. If I deluded myself into thinking that people don't talk behind my back, or that when they do it actually reflects what I am under the surface, I would hide in my room for the rest of my life. Human nature sucks most of the time.
For the most part I consciously choose not to participate. Sometimes though, even the basest of my humanness surfaces and I find myself condoning by silence. Sometimes out of some inmost frustration I chime in with my own two cents. Difference is, (I fool myself into thinking) that I am mostly penitent upon reflection afterwards and will more than likely be moved to apologize depending on the egregiousness of my transgression. Even when the person to whom I have felt such feelings is unaware.
The healthy way for all concerned leads me to apologize to my God; rather than cause hurt by making the instrument of gossip conscious of the offense they were unaware of. Would that others felt this way as well.
I do what I do for a living because it affords me luxuries that most people do not consider luxuries. I have a roof over my head, people I love, and intellectual and spiritual fulfillment. That is what I require to get up in the morning and go to work. I don't measure myself by my toys.
When someone who doesn't comprehend the big picture the way I do states what they perceive to be a truism about me to build their own self esteem I normally don't give a rats-arse. I can take it.
I know that at this point in my life if I want to be a jerk I can. I try not to be but if thats how people perceive me I don't care. Life goes on. If being a jerk is what is required of me to protect the ones I love; my priorities are always with the ones I love and not with other peoples opinions.
When someone I love gets upset because I am being made fun of or put-down, I guess I have to do something about it. Not for me but for them.
You know who you are. You have to live with you. I can live with myself because I know whats under my hat. I also know what is under yours.
Take a good look at the photograph in this post. That hat is your size....
:O)
obeedúid~
30/apr/09
