Redemption.

Well, the thing I learned from "Shannon" that stuck with me was this: As a Shell-shock victim recovers he/she gets better faster as he/she recovers. So without going into the details of what transpired at Church and my process of dealing with old wounds reopened; the act of creating this weeks worship-video was over the course of 8 or 10 revisions just what I needed to come out of my spiritual funk.

(By nature this public blog is ambiguous and details are intentionally poetical and obscure in their specifics.)

Somehow I don't think Steve knew consciously when he selected the text and asked me to do the video but it was just the thing I required to connect me again. Funny how things work that way sometimes. My healing process is far from done but presently healthy.

This Video is a "Sneak-peek" preview of this Sunday and version number ??? I may still tweak it if needs be but I'm comfortable with it as is. My older "Yoot Goopies" will be happy I think.

Gotta love it when you can get away with playing the Foo Fighters in Church...

:)

obeedúid~

24/june/09

What I got for Fathers Day...

Drunk... On Cupcakes! Well not actually drunk. Actually I got "Baked" after I had Black and Tan on an empty stomach with 2 of my daughter's "Irish-Car-Bomb-Cupcakes" as chasers.

(...mmmmm...The last one...)

Cupcake made with "Guinness" + Chocolate Gnash "Bushmills" filling topped with "Baily's Irish Cream" icing =

My daughter can bake!

obeedúid~
23/june/09

"Shannon." by Frank Delany

I loved this book. It tells the story of a shell shocked priest who has lost his vocation and therefore his soul. His search follows the Shannon River up one side and down the other. Literary and figuratively.

Unfortunately along the way I realized that I have lost my way as well. I realized this when I read this exchange in chapter 10 on page 110:

Michael the Lion had more stains on his clothes than Robert had ever seen. And the more Robert stared, the more some of them began to look like Lion's heads. Michael started to speak again.
"I have serious things to say about people tracing their family. The reason we want to discover our ancestors is a strong thing. 'Tis as strong in certain ways, if you'll forgive me, Father, as prayer. Here's what I'm saying. If I said you're forty years of age, and all you know about yourself is that you were born, say, over the hill there, in some old bit of a house, you've nothing to go on. You've, like, no bank account. I mean, what was there before you, your father and maybe your grandfather? Thats as far as you can go, God help you, for you're a poor man.
He had caught Roberts attention, as much with his passion as with his ideas. Robert leaned forward, trying hard as he had ever done to concentrate and retain.
"A poor man." he repeated.
"Yes, Father, a poor man. A very poor man."
The Lion hit his arm of his chair with a thump- and Robert did not start in fright.
"A very poor man, because supposing you did not know who you were in the long-term backwards- and suppose you knew that in the long-term backwards there was a wonderful sportsman or artist or a woman famous for her piano playing in your family- well, you'd go forward in a different mood, wouldn't you? And you'd want to know, were you any small bit like them, wouldn't you? And if you were- well, wouldn't that lift your spirits? Those are the benefits of the past."
The Lion grabbed his glass and sat forward.
"Father, if we don't come from somebody, we're nobody. If we don't come from somewhere, we come from nowhere. And if we don't know where we came from, how do we know where to go."

This pretty much sums up what I have been after these past years. I now know that I am a rich man, with a rich past, but I lost my vocation along the way and I'm not sure which way to go. Kinda counter to what is being said here. Maybe that's why I feel so lost.

obeedúid~
14/june/09

Want to learn more about Frank Delaney? Click on the thumbnail of his book in this blog and you will be taken to his official site.

Train wreck. Turn or look away?

Humans love to watch. We tune in every night at 8 religiously. We buy the Tabloids. Some get the DVD on Tuesday at Wally World or catch Jerry Springer on lunch in the Break-room.

As long as its not our own train wreck its great!

~

What is privacy in today's world? Is it your SSI Number or your intimate feelings? Everyone defines this one differently.

When dose honesty preclude private? Especially if your private is not mine?

You can try to gauge someone Else's feelings but the odds are you're going to be wrong sometimes.

~

With love comes curtain obligations that come with the territory. When someone dose something unpleasant, it can affect you more than you realize. Particularly if you love them!

Timing is everything.

It can be extremely difficult to forgive someones actions if they are unaware of the offense or transgression. They may continue to offend without knowing.

Integrity is everything too.

~

What ever your position, you can at least learn from it.

"Just because you're a Republican doesn't mean I don't love you!"

"Just because you're a Liberal doesn't mean I think you're a jerk!"

~

The way I see it:

"You make love; you die. Hopefully you make love more than you die."

obeedúid~
10/june/09

The Roller-coaster ride gets weirder....

Friday night, Mom was so bad the Nurse made a special run to St. Peters for Morphine. My brother woke us all up at around 4 a.m.

On Saturday My sister in-law came in from Syracuse, her Mom came over from next door, My sister flew in from Florida shortly after Noon.

We were all there. It was not looking good.

~

Then my sister took charge. Saturday afternoon and night she managed to get Mom to stabilize; and admit that she was not sure that she had been taking all the Meds that she needs.

Today, Sunday, Mom is taking meals and sitting up again. She is doing the Nebulizer again and looks 100% better.

This is a process. It will not stop, but it seems to not be as far along as My brother and the Nurse thought. As long as Mom dose what she is supposed to do.

So now we go from a part time aid to a full time aid. Someone who can make sure Mom is taking things when she is supposed to all the time.

Admittedly some of this is confusion. (Did I take it? I did didn't I?) Not unheard of in these circumstances.

~

We went from the brink and back in a wink. Things will only continue to progress. The long road continues. I am relieved as are we all that what we anticipated did not come to pass, but I never cared for Roller-coasters like some people do.

I have to admit my capacity for empathy makes this harder. I cant stand to see anyone I love suffer, least of all my Mom.

I don't think she ever cared for Roller-coasters either. I do however seem to remember My Nana doing something similar to my Mom. Mom did the same thing with her that my sister did: put her foot down and laid down the law.

We none of us ever fall far from the tree.

~

When my time comes, I am going to wander off into the woods, climb a mountain, lay down and go to sleep.

Send out the Saint Bernard dogs and Fill them up with Guinness if you want me to co-operate, 'cause I can be a "Stubborn Thick Mick" too.

~

Thank-you all for your notes and prayers. Dont stop prayin' though, it ain't over yet....


"Markle-Farkle"
07/june/09

What hope becomes.

The Keening:

“Try to breath, just a little bit deeper…”

The extravagance of your breath when lost
to a notepad on the bedstead of a lifetime
of dreams lived vicariously reduced to nebulization
makes every moment scream and cry
from the cavern of the mind.

Around you images of 84 years
the passion
of an inherited fragrant mind.

What remains unchanged
but the beauty of one's soul ?
I count myself decked and altered
knowing that decline must lead to rest
for your aching heart.

As Christ bids you leave us your legacy behind
to weep & wail the Banshee
you find mid-air between sunshine and wind.

Leaving us men and women here
knowing all will pass heaven’s flutter
behind you bereft of dotage
lives to live and courses to run
the road at door opening

“Don’t leave without a jacket; you’ll catch your death…”

obeedúid~
05/june/09

As I age I have come to realize that there is a fine line between optimism and masochism.

When does devotion become obsession?

Is it enough to know what might make you happy and never attain it?

Can that be consolation enough?

Just when does hope become pathetic?

When does the passage of time make patience a hindrance?

There's a poem in here somewhere.

obeedúid~
04/june/09

Do you ever sleep?!?!***

Not much.

I am a creative being and statistically I have lived more than two-thirds of my life already. I have allot to do and accomplish. The way I see it, the rest of my life rest will consist of creating and being creative. For my children, their children and to the glory of God.

~


Today is the day of Alan's big W.W.Christman Shindig! Activities at the preserve and a Gathering/Reading at Smitties around 8 o'clock. Christman's preserve is limited to family and invited guests. The Gathering/Reading has been advertised and is open to the public.

That may be you!


~

I finally managed to finish a few pieces for our show that are up to my standards. I glommed one piece that Barb loved from a previous show; and I created a piece I will someday post about my Grandmother and her REAL story; and after some techie-wrangling with Tom Carrado's help I was able to complete a slide show of a poem that appears in the previous posting with a soundtrack that will not be heard anywhere else but on my sites.

~

I didn't do a mass mailing the last posting because...

I am aware that because I post so frequently many of you treat my links as spam. So from this post forward I will be sending links out infrequently. You can follow this blog if you prefer by doing so in the new link in my sidebar. If you blog yourself you can follow by a Feeder. Otherwise copying the address into your bookmarks or adding a link to your toolbar will do too.

If you prefer to continue to receive links I will set up a list for those of you who wish to continue to receive updates as I have always sent them out before.

I just don't want to bombard anyone. The site will remain current, I will continue to evolve, but there are enough hits and services that I am listed on so that traffic will continue to this site.

This is an effort to please.

obeedúid~
01/june/09

(***Bill Hamm to me after I posted once after 11pm and again around 7am indicating I was more than likely awake past 12 re-editing and up before 5 or 6 writing a new post....)