I had a flashback today....

I have been thinking allot about my Mom lately. On Mothers Day we spent the time hanging out at the house and eating dinner. Everyone was there. I was going to do a post then but I hadn't put together enough pictures that I had scanned, touched-up and edited to be happy with anything.

The Pulmonary Fibrosis is progressing pretty much like we figured it was going to. Its scary for her. Its scary for my brother Richard who lives with her. Its scary for all of us.

This Morning I was standing in the Parking Lot outside the Store doing my morning entranceway clean-up, when I looked up at the horizon and flashed back to my childhood. Suddenly I remembered walking down the stairs in my parents house before school, smelling bacon, hearing WROW and Ray Falconer doing the Weather and Farm report. Just as I used to reach the kitchen every morning , or it seemed like every morning, they would play "Oh what a beautiful morning!" or something similar.

So when I heard that song in my head this morning I knew what I would do.

Love you Mom!

obeedúid~
20/may/09

In memory of my metabolism....

"Waste"-line...

The events that were soon on top of him:

He somehow finds contentment

among the neo-Lethean foliage

for all his purchased pains

by every woman's temperament

in a cistern of hearts

The chill in his bones

is matched only by the love

handle around his waist

that waited half a century

for his metabolism to slow

If he no longer reaches

the topmost bough

this is yet to show

whether or not he has

thirty years to go

and maxims to meditate

while walking barefoot

through the marble dew

as he will never have enough

of women's love

so must settle

while the body settles

for children's gratitude

a burgeoning belly

and the extravagance of breath.

obeedúid~

18/may/09

Reports of my arrest have been greatly exaggerated....

Last night we were watching the 6 o'clock News. A report came on that "Mark O'Brien" had been arrested for raping a 13 year-old mentally handicapped girl.

Heres a link to the article: http://www.cbs6albany.com/news/queensbury-1263366-raping-girl.html

This guy has been the bane of my existence for years! When I went to buy a house he had bashed my credit all-up big time!

Now here he is doing the thing I most abhor. Taking advantage of the undefended. The least, the last and the lost.

This is what happens when you have a common Irish name. This is why I go by "obeedúid~". Can you blame me?

When I first went to buy a home I found that I had defaulted on a 30 mortgage when I was 11 years old!

Once, a co-worker handed me and obituary from the daily newspaper with my name on it. If I hadn't known better I would have believed I were dead!

If it can be said that some do good and others do otherwise, perhaps I am working the good side while he is doing otherwise. I hope this guy gets the worst punishment if its true. If they can prove he did this horrific thing then string him up by his thing.

I am compassionate as is possible in todays world, but one thing I can't forgive is the abuse of an indefensible child.

Just because I share the same name with this guy I somehow feel guilty. Don't joke with me about this one folks. I'm not gunna find it funny. It's sick and it makes me want to retch!

obeedúid~
15/may/09

I bought the ultimate Man-Tool yesterday!

An Infinity NV29 Vacuum.

The tag line says: "No Loss of Suction..."

"It has 24 Cyclones to trap dust and dirt so Infinity never loses suction..."

The literature states: "Other vacuums claim to maintain powerful suction, but after just a few rooms they lose suction. Year after year Infinity never loses suction."

In other words: Infinity Vacuums Suck! They suck so good that as I was passing the couch I engulfed the throw right off the couch and into the NV29 before I realized what was going on....

This of course broke the brand new Motor Belt. Fortunately, they supplied me with a spare. Replacing the belt was surprisingly easy though! The bottom of the machine is made to be opened easily so fixing it was finished in 5 minutes. No problem!

Both the Dog and the Cat have bought into the marketing magic. They are convinced that it sucks too!

It sucks SOOO GOOOOD I think if I'm not careful I will be pulling pictures off the wall!!!

ARRRRUE! AR-AR-AR!

(Tim the Toolman Taylor would be proud!)

...and I don't have to be embarrassed by the fact that I am in love with my new Vacuum! After all, its a Man Vac!

...honest...

I think the two of us will be very happy together. I look forward to a long relationship with little or no arguing and plenty of long walks in the rain....

;)

obeedúid~
08/may/09

The boy with a crack in his heart.

I continue to be heavily influenced by Yeats. The original to this poem is actually much longer than the VideO'em. I post them both here so you may contrast the two. Obviously the self imposed style and length of my videos which the bIRD has labeled "future primitive aesthetic" forces me to work with a finite quantity of words. This then necessitates creating two almost completely different poems. "Variations on a theme" if you will.

How the poet was hit in the head by the rock he threw:

How could he be so ignorant

of the old stone cross he bares

How could he live so innocent

of the world asleep unawares

Loam rises up while

arbutus tumbles down

the ever-changing surface

the loosening of the ground

The boy with a crack in his heart

the man looking back at the start

the wane of love having besot them

their weary souls must part

The naive years

of youth that come to naught

awaken old memories

fierce and lofty calling to the mind

old words

like children who've strayed

If we blame love

we may as well blame the wind

for the infinite shape

of words.

I have stayed away from Yeats for most of my life. To begin with, I have been told many times that we look similar. Over the years I have been told that my poetry resembled Yeats's as well. At this point [age] in my life I am no longer intimidated by the idea of influence. I am convinced that I will absorb and continue to metamorphose as a Poet. I can't be separated from "The Collected Poems" at this point. I carry it everywhere. If at 51 Yeats had 30 years of love and productivity ahead of him then perhaps I will also.

My favorite poem at the moment is # 93 "Words". It speaks to me as if I had written it myself. In fact I have. In many other poems with many other "Words".

obeedúid~

07/may/09

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'

Just found this feature and I'm trying it out...

AHHH! Satire at it's finest.

obeedúid~
06/may/09

I stuck it to the Pharaoh today!

I called up my Credit Card Company, payed off my balance in full and canceled my account.

They asked me why? I said I had no need to pay them the percentage rate they told me I had to pay because they screwed up.

They said they would lower my rate.

I said "No, thats alright, even if you did I would still have to pay you a fee each month just for the privilege of having your leach in my pocket.

They said they would not charge me a fee for three months if I didn't cancel my account.

I said "NO THANK YOU."

They said they would not make me pay a fee for six months!

I said "STILL NO!"

They started to offer me a year....

I said "NO,NO,NO!" AND LAUGHED OUT LOUD INTO THE PHONE!

I haven't felt so empowered in years!!!

Render that Pharaoh!

I just left Egypt and I'm on the way to the promised land!!!

Milk and honey anyone?

obeedúid~
04/may/09

Eulogizing my habit.

I was sitting on the front steps tonight watching the sun go down and enjoying the mild weather.

Rodger offered me cigarette and I tried a puff.

YUCK!

Pahtooweee!

(I was curious to see if I had any desire anymore.)

Balech!

I had to RUN upstairs and brush my teeth!

(Ick!)

5 months on the 5th!

obeedúid~
01/May/09

Moving right along...

THE MARK 1000 CAME TODAY!!!!

I haven't set it up yet, and I still need to get a Red Light, but I checked everything out and I am reading the manual. I still have to procure the clear rubber feet I will use to separate the panes of glass. I intend to stack the sheets and line up the clear rubber feet as I stack them.

36 pieces of glass may not be enough!

obeedúid~
30/apr/09

"See past my surface. See what is valuable. See me."

I hang with Theologians and PHDs. I am secure in my identity and have enough self-esteem to take a joke. Even when its a mean spirited and derogatory put-down. I consider the source. I've been through a lot in my life and witnessed enough, observed enough, and had enough of human nature to know how the petty dynamics of unhappy people can become group-think.

Rumors and gossip hurt the perpetrators as much as the perpetrated. A jokes a joke until someone gets hurt. If I deluded myself into thinking that people don't talk behind my back, or that when they do it actually reflects what I am under the surface, I would hide in my room for the rest of my life. Human nature sucks most of the time.

For the most part I consciously choose not to participate. Sometimes though, even the basest of my humanness surfaces and I find myself condoning by silence. Sometimes out of some inmost frustration I chime in with my own two cents. Difference is, (I fool myself into thinking) that I am mostly penitent upon reflection afterwards and will more than likely be moved to apologize depending on the egregiousness of my transgression. Even when the person to whom I have felt such feelings is unaware.

The healthy way for all concerned leads me to apologize to my God; rather than cause hurt by making the instrument of gossip conscious of the offense they were unaware of. Would that others felt this way as well.

I do what I do for a living because it affords me luxuries that most people do not consider luxuries. I have a roof over my head, people I love, and intellectual and spiritual fulfillment. That is what I require to get up in the morning and go to work. I don't measure myself by my toys.

When someone who doesn't comprehend the big picture the way I do states what they perceive to be a truism about me to build their own self esteem I normally don't give a rats-arse. I can take it.

I know that at this point in my life if I want to be a jerk I can. I try not to be but if thats how people perceive me I don't care. Life goes on. If being a jerk is what is required of me to protect the ones I love; my priorities are always with the ones I love and not with other peoples opinions.

When someone I love gets upset because I am being made fun of or put-down, I guess I have to do something about it. Not for me but for them.

You know who you are. You have to live with you. I can live with myself because I know whats under my hat. I also know what is under yours.

Take a good look at the photograph in this post. That hat is your size....

:O)

obeedúid~
30/apr/09

"When you're finished here, you can come over to my place..."

I can't count the number of times, when a woman has seen me pushing a broom or a vacuum at the store and jokingly said: "When you're finished here you can come over to my place and do my house too..."

It happens alltha-time...

At this point I normally stutter something unintelligible and smile. Later, I find myself mumbling under my breath about another wasted opportunity gone awry.

Lately, the new me (Post Ireland) has been attempting a solution. When the situation arises, (...and it does frequently because most people think it is original and witty...) I now reply with: "Well, perhaps if you take me to dinner and a movie first; maybe we can work something out..."

The older women (mostly my little 'ol lady fan club from Church) giggle and grab my arm as if they're making for the door right then and there!

Women at or near my age smile and flirt back; but as yet no-one has taken me up on the offer....

They can't really complain obviously because they initiate the conversation in the first place. Even married women. I just love turning things back to them the most. It puts them on their heals and if they have any moral character at all they back peddle at light speed.

No worries here of course, because I do have moral character and would never agree to a situation like that going any further. I'm sure I could save us both by stuttering myself out of it with a blush at any rate.

The guys in the back room are going to start a pool to see which happens first: Someone makes a date with me; or someone slaps me. The odds seem to be in favor of me getting slapped.

Hopefully, the right woman will walk in someday and I'll take on another cleaning job gratis.

Until then I'm working on getting my kids to let me date again. Oh Yeah, didn't I tell you? I'm on probation. It seems I'm easier to live with, when I'm not in one of the emotion-sucking-vortexes which I tend to tumble into.

Remember those black and white spinning circles at the beginning of the twilight zone? I don't, honest I don't. I'm just doin' my job here. Pushin' my broom. Vacuumin' this here rug.

When I'm finished here....

obeedúid~
28/apr/09

Poetry for Brunch. Mmmmm!

If you don't have technical difficulties that is. Today I had glitches. I got zapped when I plugged in. All of my settings were changed. The new settings were incompatible with Tom's projector. We messed around for quite a while and then the Reference Librarian came to the rescue! She hooked us up with a Library Laptop and plugged us into the built-in projection system on site. Very Cool! Next time, I'll show up a few days ahead of time and practice with the system. It was a little weird moving around on a giant screen 20ft away and at an extreme side angle.

I played the "Yeats/Gonne" VideO'em but I still feel it is unfinished so I will save posting it for when it's "Ready."

Last night I sat up working on this one. Until 3 a.m. I also made it to work on-time at 7a.m. The things I won't do for my Art....

I feel it approaches most closely where I want to go with this form. Low-High-Tech. Short. Painterly.

I am very happy with it!

obeedúid~
25/apr/09

GREAT NEWS!!! I'm selfish with my Germs!

I decided that my germs were too awesome to share last night. I just had to be selfish and keep them to myself! I stayed home and rented a romantic comedy and vegged on the couch. It was quirky, independent and YEAH, I admit it. I loved it. I'm gonna make someone a great girlfriend someday. I'm a real man and I even like quiche. Well, sometimes. (...the sensitive type don't you know....)

I decided to go with what I have come up with for the Brunch tomorrow as far as my latest VidO'em. Nothing a little tweaking can't fix. Debut at the Brunch, I'll Post it here sometime in the future.

I couldn't stand to stay home from work for one more day so I did go to work. (Covered my hands with rubber gloves at all times and Alcohol wipes every time I touched something.) S.O.P. anyway.

I am really glad I went to work actually, I love the first few warm days of the summer when all of the BEAUTIFUL Women come into the store in their almost clothes. (...you know what mean.)

;)

I have yet to find my voice again, but I'm on the trail.

HEY! GUESS WHAT! The Taxes POPPED! I JUST ORDERED MY GLASS ETCHING EQUIPMENT! It should be here the beginning of next week! I am SO PSYCHED!

Special kudos to all my "The Pneumatic Thoughtforms Future's Project" subscribers. YOU'RE THE BESTIST! (See the Top of the sidebar>) Updates, documentation of the creation of works and the results to appear here SOON.

If things turn out even half as cool as they are in my head this should be ground breaking and maybe even profitable. Whoe! ...Making money from my Art without selling out! What a concept....

obeedúid~
24/apr/09

My mouth fell off!

I've been sick for the past few days. I lost my voice on Tuesday. I still haven't found it yet. I don't know where it went to but I can't narrate my latest video without it. Maybe its trying to tell me something. An Irishman without his voice is certainly lost.

I've decided I'll make a silent film then. Based on the relationship between Yeats and Maud Gonne. The poem is in the works but needs some tweaking. I can type without speaking I think...

(...insert joke here about the Irishman who cant drive and talk at the same time... Go ahead, I dare you!)

If I'm lucky it will be done by the Poetry Brunch at the Library this Saturday. Hopefully my Poetry Bums can help me find my voice again tonight.

;(

obeedúid~
23/apr/09

"The Holy Fool" takes a vacation part one....

I separated my vacation by my passions. The first part was devoted to Art. Viewing, absorbing, creating, and preforming. I drove over the Taconic Mountians to Massachusetts along Rte 2 out of Troy N.Y. into Williamstown via the scenic.

As I went I stopped when I felt like it, climbed when I felt like it, and I took pictures everywhere. I listened to "The Boss" most of the time "Working on a Dream" and sometimes I just listened to the radio.

It turns out the "Toulouse-Lautrec and Paris" show at the Clark was not the reason to visit Williamstown though. There is always something unique and and at times disturbing at the Williams Collage Museum. Disturbing was a photographic documentary of the ordinary and absurd.

I was relieved and elated when I entered the next room to find short, minimalistic videos. Videos that told small poignant story's. I was enwrapped and raptured! By the time I got to the Travelodge I had words and pictures running through my mind at Warp-speed. I never even got into my sleeping bag until 3 a.m.

What follows is what sprang from the mind. I still haven't fully comprehended the portent of how "less is more" will work in my overall Artist Vision but I am REALLY EXCITED!

(I am Irish after all and I know my "Less is more" can be hard to control...)

Also availabe for viewing on my Youtube Channel: Videobeedude!

It bothers me that Youtube doesn't offer more choices and controls over the thumbnails that end up being displayed on the videos. The one on this one is not what I would have preferred. The other two choices gave away to much so I was forced to settle for what you see here. Maybe I will splurge and by a Mac with my Tax-money.

I do however find the unpolished quality of the videos to be more painterly, less slick and more characterized by the color rather than line, shapes and structure. This should get interesting....

~

I gathered a ton of Genealogical data on the O'Brien's during the second half of my visit. Not enough to nail things to the floor, but enough to get some dirt between my fingernails. "The Holy Fool" walked through some closed doors with a smile and knocked on some he probably shouldn't have, but thats a story for the next post....

(...Maps and documents included...)

obeedúid~
18/apr/09

3 Virtual Posts for the price of 1 !!!

Looking back towards N.Y. State
from the Taconic Mountains.

I woke up to find this greeting in my In-box! I was on-line in Pittsfield Mass., on Friday morning; checking my mail:

MICHAEL BURKE 6:32 AM (2 hours ago)

Good day from China, Obeedude.

Just think, someone is reading your very fine Blog in Shanghai...
Where is Clark Museum? Sounds interesting, as does MASSMOCA...
I used to work there when it was Sprague Electric.
Maybe we can get a little road trip up if you haven't gone before I get back.

See ya for the Poetry Brunch.

Mike.

(What didn't Mike do during his youth?)

I send this Virtual Post from Mike wedged in between two from me!

The Fields behind the Clark Museum 15/apr/09

(Found the locations I was looking for and I will write about my adventures when I return home.)

...off the the National Archives next...

See you all soon....


(:Markle:)
17/apr/09

What I meant to do this week....

The Taxes were done yesterday.

I meant to get up this morning and GO GO GO!

I meant to grab my gear, get in the car, head for Massachusetts for a couple of days to visit some stuff... (National Archives, Clark Museum, Williams College Museum and MASSMOCA.)

I really want to see the "Toulouse-Lautrec and Paris" show at the Clark. It will be my present to myself.

~

I planned to track down my Father's cousins. I know that they are his cousins (I have stories and proof to some degree) but I cant make the connection through Census data. I have managed to build a complete family tree back to 1870 but I can't connect them in this country. Its that whole Famine thing mixed up with less specific data the farther you go back.

I know where they lived so I can at least take some pictures and visit the Saint Josephs Cemetery gravestones. Maybe I'll even get a phone book and try making some phone calls if I feel brave.

~

Any way...

I overslept.

I couldn't find my sleeping bag 'cause it was in Devin's truck.

(There are no Campgrounds open yet and I won't sleep on a Hotel Bed since I saw that "Dateline" thing with the infrared pictures of Body-fluids and the Bedbugs...)

Instead, I got up late and read a book on the couch.

It's my vacation after all.

Then I realized that I was meant to spend the day hanging out with my daughter.

Everything else can wait until tomorrow...

:)

obeedúid~
15/apr/09

The year the Easter Bunny learned Manners...

When Devin and Sarah were young; I was working late at Grand Union. A customer came in at the last minute in a rush and bought a box of Baking Soda.

"Oh thank God!" she said, "I'm so glad I caught you before you closed, I use this Baking Soda to make Bunny Tracks for my kids so they can find their way to their Easter Baskets...."

"What a great I idea!" I said, and that year I began the tradition of waiting for the kids to go to sleep before "Making Bunny-Tracks!"

I would dip my thumb in a bowl of water, press it into another bowl filled with baking soda and press tracks around the house; leaving trails for my kids to follow in the morning. After breakfast we vacuumed up the baking soda, freshening the carpet and the vacuum at the same time!

I made tracks everywhere... tracks to nests... tracks to baskets... even tracks to dead ends... Sarah always says Devin found everything and she found the dead ends. I don't remember it quite that way, but I was the grown-up I think....

Then one year I came home after a double shift and I was too tired to be enthused about "making Bunny Tracks!"

"It's your tradition" said my ex-wife "I'm going to bed..."

So there I sat. Staring at the baskets, baking soda and water. "ugh." I said to myself. "What am I going to do?!!!" "I'm just to beat to beat the carpet this year..."

Then, I had an epiphany! I knew what I had to do, so I did it and went upstairs to bed.

In the morning, Devin and Sarah came out of their rooms, and in unison they chimed: "Hey! Theres no Bunny Tracks!" "The Easter Bunny didn't come this year!"

"What?" I said in disbelieving tones... "...are you sure? I don't think he would skip our house, he's too nice to do that to two good kids like you... Lets have a look around..."

We walked around the room until we came to the Front Door. Then, as sincerely as I could muster without a giggle I said: "LOOK! The Easter Bunny wiped his feet on the mat before he came into the house! What a good Easter Bunny!"

...they looked at me in disbelief. I don't think they bought it. I don't think he ceased to exist that year, but I know he wasn't as cool as he was before. Its just a guess mind you, but an "Easter Bunny with manners" lost mad props that day!

All I know is, it was a stroke of genius that gave me a good nights rest!

Hippity-Hoppity!


obeedúid~
12/apr/09

More Post Cards from my Great Aunt Anne Gilmour; and "A little Easter Story"...

Sometimes we just know when something is right. We can feel it. Even when others are not convinced, we hear an inner voice and know its just a matter of time until our dreams and goals will be realized. It may not happen overnight, it may take years, but somehow we have faith.

The time thing is the hard part. It has taken most of my life to understand the meaning of the word "Patience". Sometimes it may even take 99 years like these Post Cards, and guess what... They were just as right 99 years ago as they are now.

Sometimes we see things and know that they were meant to happen; as you see them happen. Last night at our Upper-room Service, Pastor Brian began the Service by lighting the Christ-Candle in the center of a formation of tables arranged to form a cross. He then moved it to an empty seat and indicated that this was to signify that Christ was seated here in the room with us.

A little while later, a friend of mine showed up 5 mins late and sat where the Christ-Candle had been placed. Afterwards she said to me: "Gosh, why didn't someone say something to me..." I responded: "Thats all right, don't worry about it, ...it was meant to be." I just knew it was right as I watched it happen.

Call it providence, call it what ever you like, here is my take on it: We never know when we will come to the table and unknowingly be seated as Christ.


Of anyone I have known in my life, who would be capable of sitting in Christ's seat and embodying his essence, it would be her.


"...and those who were ready went into the banquet..."


Happy Easter!


obeedúid~
10/apr/09

"Maundy Thursday"; ...time for a few good cries...

Joyce Roe, friend and mentor died yesterday. She was the wife of my mentor in Boy Scouts and Youth Ministry: Tom Roe. (I've written about him here before.)

Joyce was always there for me and my kids. (She was always there or everyone...) Nothing made her happier than to have you sit down in her kitchen and let her whip something up for you. She made us homemade treats like fresh applesauce created right before our very eyes!

She never failed to send a card with a note for every holiday. When I found out yesterday I had to sit down where I was. (That happened to be in a chair at the coffee bar at work.) Joyce died of complications due to pneumonia. Her heart failed. (particularly poignant for me as Mom has suffered from both...) Cry number one.

I've been reading "Lion of Ireland" and as it happens, Brian (according to Llewellyn's account) died on Holy Friday. I had just finished reading about his death and having cry number two when Sarah brought in the mail. Todays mail contained an Easter Card with a letter and an invitation from Joyce to come and visit. I have next week off and had already planned to stop in as a surprise.... Cry number three.

Tonight I went to "Maundy Thursday" service. Every year (Cheryl H.) a former member of the Youth Ministries Team sings "Were you there?" at the end of the Upper-room Service and we leave in silence.

...after crying mind you. Cheryl gets me every time. A good cry! ...number four.

We will miss you Joyce. Save us a spot at the kitchen table. We promise we'll have a seat and "bring our healthy appetites" along with us!

LOVE YOU!!!

obeedúid~
09/apr/09